Men + Myself + God

Tag: self- love

On Honoring Commitments

by P. Braithwaite

I went a day without blogging yesterday. I took a holiday. Instead of writing, I sat on the beach and thought about nothing the troops. Actually that’s not true, I took a nap, growled at small children, and stole a frisbee from grown men who were endangering everyone around them with their lack of catching skills.

All in all, a good day.

I didn’t want to go another day without blogging. Actually, that’s not true either. I DID want to go another day without blogging, but I didn’t….not because I feel compelled to write, but because I told ya’ll I was doing a 30 day blog challenge, and I plan to do so.

I like to do what I say, if I can help it.

When I used to run half marathons, people liked to say I was a deeply disciplined person. That wasn’t true. I was the same lazy slouch I am now, and when they’d venture to believe otherwise, I’d shrug and tell them they were wrong. Read the rest of this entry »

“Everyone should have a museum dedicated to the worst day of their life…”

by P. Braithwaite

 

 

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I came across Steve Kandell’s gut-wrenching article on BuzzFeed called The Worst Day of My Life is Now New York City’s Hottest Tourist Attraction. Yeah. He went there. It is a deeply personal account of his experience at the new 9-11 museum from the perspective of someone PERSONALLY affected by the tragedy (he lost his sister Shari). The entire post is worth checking out, but the following paragraph was like a punch in the stomach…

I think now of every war memorial I ever yawned through on a class trip, how someone else’s past horror was my vacant diversion and maybe I learned something but I didn’t feel anything. Everyone should have a museum dedicated to the worst day of their life and be forced to attend it with a bunch of tourists from Denmark. Annotated divorce papers blown up and mounted, interactive exhibits detailing how your mom’s last round of chemo didn’t take, souvenir T-shirts emblazoned with your best friend’s last words before the car crash. And you should have to see for yourself how little your pain matters to a family of five who need to get some food before the kids melt down. Or maybe worse, watch it be co-opted by people who want, for whatever reason, to feel that connection so acutely. <Read the rest of the article here>

In our effort to be connected, in our desire to share pain, let us have reverence for the struggle of others. Let our desire to hold space be routed in love rather than curiosity. Let us not make spectacles of other people’s pain. And, if we find ourselves sharing in collective grief, let us take time to feel rather than intellectualize. Let our grief bring us closer to the wisdom without words…the wisdom beyond the gift shop. Let us understand that our moment of public empathy, our seconds of national solidarity, are routed in very real moments that irrevocably change other people’s lives. We need to have reverence for the experiences of one another…

Most of all, whatever hardship you may be going through, may you breathe into the comfort that obscurity provides. May you be gentle with your own pain…and process it without the scrutiny of others.

And so it is.

Smile at Fear…or something.

by P. Braithwaite

There’s this misguided idea that fear is something we have to rage against, power through, or overcome. I’m learning that’s a fallacy.

I’m working on a biggish project — gearing up to teach a class based on my own truths. It’s scary and three times a day fear crops up and I try to talk myself out of my own dreams.

You don’t really wanna teach this class. No one will come.

For all of my coaching techniques (reframe, refocus), I’m learning to breathe into the fear. What does that mean? When the fear comes, I stop what I’m doing and just breathe. I’m learning to sit beside the fear and watch it: sometimes it stays for a few minutes, other times it quickly scurries away.

More and more I’m understanding that there is nothing we need to do. There’s nothing to overcome. Our only task is to keep breathing. Fighting thoughts with thoughts is like fighting fire with fire — unproductive. Just sit beside the fear and watch it pass.

Your dream will be waiting patiently when fear passes — and you will continue to do your work.

And so it is.