During meditation, the other day, this thought popped into my head: I’ve been lazy in my life.
I know I’m not supposed to attach to thoughts during meditation, but this one was too good to pass up. Anyone who knows me knows that I work fairly hard. BUT anyone who REALLY knows me knows I LOVE vegging out, wearing sweats, not doing my hair, and a VH1 reality tv marathon.
I’m a low-maintenance, low-drama, low-octave kind of girl, and I love that about myself. I’m known to fall asleep during meditation and, since we’re talking about sleeping, sleeping in isn’t an indulgence; it’s a requirement. If it were socially acceptable to live my life entirely from my bed, I’d consider it…
That’s not the kind of laziness I’m talking about, though.
I’m talking about the kind of laziness that appears productive and can span our entire lives if we let it: wake up, eat breakfast, tweet, go to work, lunch, work late, check Facebook, work overtime, get home, prepare lean cuisine, watch DVR, text friends, plan happy hour, pass out, wake up, REPEAT. Make no mistake, auto-pilot is a form of laziness. It’s not because you’re not doing enough (chances are you are doing TOO MUCH), it’s laziness because the best parts of yourself aren’t required to show up. You always know what’s next, you always know what’s expected, you don’t have to be present.
In the interest of full disclosure (we’re all friends here, right?) I got out of a 2 year-long distance relationship a few months ago and, while I was in that relationship, most of my life revolved around airfare, telephones, text messages, and virtual dates. I was so busy trying to be w/ my beloved, I stopped showing up in my own life. I should be clear: work still got done, days were full of activity, but I was being “life lazy.” My relationship became a place to hide — an excuse not to live in the present moment. So (now that it’s over), as I find myself strengthening connections with my friends and family, as I bear witness to myself laughing and smiling, I realize that I haven’t been “in my body” for a while. Usually I’d abuse myself for this, but I’m just so happy to be back I don’t even care that I was gone. Prodigal Patia has returned! Slay a calf! Throw a party…
Anyway, I’m struck by how easily we can slip out of our lives and simply go through the motions. I’m also re-committed to showing up as authentically in my own life. I will no longer allow myself to be life lazy…no more autopilot. The truth is, there’s no real reason to check-out: My life is pretty dope, and there are far worse places to be.
So, are you being life lazy? Share! 🙂