by P. Braithwaite
I’ve been away for a while, but I think our time apart has been good for our relationship. I’ve missed you, and hope that you haven’t forgotten about me. I certainly haven’t forgotten about all of you.
While I was away:
1. I finished my Master’s thesis: In about two weeks I will officially be a Master of Fine Arts, and (although I have no idea what that really means) that feels GREAT!! Now that I’m done being a student (in the traditional sense), I can begin my life-long commitment of being a slave to the written word. I really loved graduate school, and I think my decision to go was sort of brilliant. I got to live as an artist, while telling everyone I was a responsible academic type. I got to live my passion without the scrutiny of others. I wish I’d realized that sooner. It would’ve saved me some angst. In any case, I think that what the MFA has really taught me is that I’m a writer all of the time. School or no school; blog or no blog. Writing is a very big part of how I’m going to spend this life. It’s time to stop delaying and pondering; it’s time to get to the business of doing the thing…
2. I’ve gotten some career clarity: The writing life is only part, albeit a huge part, of my overall picture. While getting some clarity, I have come to understand that I am passionate about personal development, motivation and spirituality. I’m hoping to blend writing with a day job in personal coaching/empowerment. If I could spend 40/60 hours a week helping folks become better people, and then spend my free time working on writing and deepening my connection to self, I’d be the happiest girl in Kansas (though I live in Brooklyn). Regular readers know that I may or may not be an English instructor, and so I think that I (may or may not be) already doing a bit of coaching and development work, but I’m hoping really expand the definition of what it means to be a teacher. I really want to live my best life, and help others do the same. (I blame Oprah)
3. I haven’t worked on the God Book: I’ve thought about it a lot, but I really wanted to concentrate on finishing my thesis. It’s interesting because there are a lot of people who have asked me about my process, and have offered to connect me with people who are willing to help. Now that the thesis is almost a distant memory, it’s time to recommit to the project.
4. I’ve been showing up more as myself: I turned 28 last month, and I’ve spent a lot of time enjoying myself and the people in my offline life. That said, I’ve also been doing a lot of inner work. At the risk of being completely vulnerable, I’ve been doing the therapy thing and I’ve enlisted the help of an AMAZING life coach. I’m up to my ears in self-help books and empowerment tapes, and I’m meditating (almost) daily. Though I’m sure this sounds a bit crazy, this process has helped me to see how some of my attempts to protect myself are actually getting in the way of my potential. Those who have known me for a while have told me that I look different and move differently. I chalk that up to me showing up as my authentic self instead of as I think I should be.
5. I cut off my hair: Afro chic!
So I’ve bored you with list in an effort to explain that, while I have been away, I’ve been really busy becoming a better person and shit. I am aware of the life I want, and I’m determined to become the person capable of birthing that life. The best part is, I look in the mirror and I’m beginning to see that I AM that person.
So I’m back and I’m more focused than I’ve ever been. There will be some changes to the blog in the upcoming weeks (hopefully some new voices) and I’m going to be posting more regularly. I hope that those of you who read my posts will comment. When I look back on when and how I started writing, I really believe that I started writing to convince myself that I existed. I was sooo quiet and much of my time was spent alone. At some point I picked up a pen and started talking to myself. So comment when the spirit moves you, don’t talk yourself out of it.…it validates my existence. 😉
Here’s a question: what have you all been doing while I’ve been cutting off my hair and running the streets? Do you have any interesting insights?