Men + Myself + God

Tag: love

bell hooks has summarized my twenties.

by P. Braithwaite

“It still took years for me to let go of learned pattern’s of behavior that negated my capacity to give and receive love. One pattern that made the practice of love especially difficult was my constantly choosing to be with men who were emotionally wounded, who were not that interested in loving, even though they desired to be loved. I wanted to know love but was afraid to be intimate. By choosing men who were not interested in being loving, I was able to practice giving love but always within an unfufilling context. Naturally, my need to receive love was not met. I got what I was accustomed to getting. Care and affection, usually mingled with a degree of unkindness, neglect, and on some occasions, out right cruelty.”

Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions

Bye bye…twenties. 🙂

by P. Braithwaite


On Community

by P. Braithwaite

Those of you who know me, know that I crave community. I join classes and clubs, I turn strangers into friends, but I’m always left somehow unfulfilled.

Well, I’ve realized something about my never-ending quest for community: it’s bullshit.

I’m learning that groups of like-minded people freak me out (and bore me). I like nuance. I respect dissent. I both fear and crave to be challenged. I resent anything that feels exclusive or divisive.

I’m not the biggest fan of intellectual cohesion.

I learn over and over that ‘community’ is not this homogenous group of people who have the same exact beliefs (that might be a cult). Communities aren’t groups of souls who need to be saved, fixed or tweaked. Communities aren’t based on sameness or even differences because…everyone is different in exactly the same ways.

Community is wherever your feet have landed. Community are those who breathe the the exact same air as you (HINT: everyone). In this space, in this moment you are communing.

In this space, in this moment, community is all there is…

…Proceed however you see fit.

What does community mean to you?