Men + Myself + God

Tag: life

On Perspective

by P. Braithwaite

I am driving underneath the Brooklyn Heights Promenade on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. The entire Manhattan skyline spreads itself across my window. There are buildings on top of buildings, like subway riders during rush hour. Each tower fighting for some space.

Trela and I, still in shock from our ten days of silence, are overwhelmed by the magnitude of the city.

“NYC is f*cking scary,” she remarks. “And when you think about all the people in each of those buildings.”

“Terrifying,” I say while switching lanes.

I drive a few miles up, cross the Brooklyn Bridge, and travel straight into the bowels of the city that scares us both. Inside its narrow streets, nestled on all sides by buildings, we almost forget our own fears.

It’s amazing how the strange can become normal.

Later that night, when I’ve dropped Trela at the bus depot and returned back to my outer borough, my father emails me a picture he recently took.

Twilight, the Manhattan skyline, bollards standing at attention in the water. The glowing city looks peaceful and serene.

“It’s amazing,” he tells me over the phone that evening. “Move a few feet to the left and those bollards line up perfectly. A few feet gives you a totally new perspective.”

“Yeah,” I smile. “It does.”

What’s your perspective today?

When People Don’t Want You To Change

by P. Braithwaite


The other day I went to dinner with some friends from grad school. It’s interesting, with all of my life changes and transitions, sometimes graduate school feels like it happened years ago.

This time last year, I was finishing my thesis. It’s only been a year.

Anyway, we met at this odd little Russian restaurant that masquerades as a burger joint and feasted on puréed egg plant, garlic fries and sausage bits.

The conversation flowed easily, and naturally turned to the topic of writing — the one thing we all have in common.

“You working on anything?”

I cringed. I “work” on my blog like its a full-time job. I write SOMETHING every single day whether I feel like it or not. I’m the protagonist of my own life, delving deeply to find anecdotes and experiences to share. This is basically an experimental memoir. Lol

I don’t think my MFA friends get that. I’m not quite sure that blogging is a literary genre.

“Nah,” I glanced at my plate. “Not really.”

There is a bit of silence. My friend’s voice drops a bit.

“You will write fiction again, tho…right?” He adds. “You’re such a strong fiction writer. You have to.”

“We’ll see.”

Sometimes people don’t want you to change. It’s not because they’re mean or anything like that. Sometimes, when you’ve shown up a certain way for so long, people aren’t sure that you can be anything else. People get attached to labels and ideas: coach, novelist, teacher, friend. But everything is subject to change.

George Bernard Shaw sums it up best: “The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me. The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”

Truthfully, I don’t know if I’ll ever write a novel. Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and write an entire series. I do know I’m a writer tho, every moment of my life. I went to a reading over the weekend and, for the first time in a year, I had the urge to write something that wasn’t inspired by the truth.

Only time will tell who I am becoming.

So, as we’re bumbling along, collecting
stories, and figuring things out, it’s important to stay compassionate for your ever changing vision. We’re all infinitely creative — changing with he movements of every passing day. So don’t worry. Sometimes people don’t want you to change, but most often, they’ll come around. They just want to experience you at your best.

How are you changing and growing? Are you feeling the pull of people who want you to stay the same?

Patty’s 28 Rules For Living Dangerously

by P. Braithwaite

I wrote this list last year when I turned 28. They are prayers, well-wishes and spiritual directives. I’m sharing this with you because it’s my birthday week and I’m all about literally writing your own rules. Write your own rules, fulfill your own wishes…give birth to yourself every single day. If I had candles to blow out that would be my wish for you.

Did I accomplish everything on my list? Hell no, but I can honestly say…at 28 (and 361 days) if I died tomorrow, I would be proud of how I’ve lived. I think that’s something to be proud of…❤

PS: I had sex on the brain this time last year and my rules reflect that (sorry mom).

28 Rules for my 28 Years

1. Money is your boo. You take care of money and money takes care of you. 🙂

2. For most of your life you were allergic to chocolate. In this next chapter of your life, you’re allergic to bullshit. When you hear bullshit your ears close up. Eat more chocolate; swallow less bullshit.

3. Keep meditating. 😉

4. Do hoodrat things with your friends. What you do does not define the truth of who you are.

5. Some say you are an introvert others say you are extroverted. In truth, you are both. Show up as either one and be unapologetic about it. Both attributes come bearing gifts.

6. Don’t even LEASE the cow if it can’t make you squirt. Yes, squirt. All utters must be in tact.

7. Learn to be thankful for everything.

8. Celebrate your successes.

9. Have compassion for your flaws.

10. Experiment with essential oils and self-massages.

11. Have fun several times a day!

12. Have more orgasms. Consider orgasms your new multi-vitamin.

13. Don’t be afraid to burn a bridge or two. Fire is transformational.

14. Play outside as often as possible.

15. Visit Bryant Park more. Especially in the fall. You love it there.

16. Get angry. It’s okay…you deserve to react to perceived injustice.

17. Remain in love with yourself. If you can, fall deeper in love everyday. Find new ways to show yourself you love yourself. Commit fully. You deserve nothing less.

18. Laugh when you hear something funny (even if it’s your own joke).

19. See your freedom as a gift. You won’t always be so unattached.

20. Remember the moment you realized your thesis was good? Write with that knowledge for the rest of your life. Your voice and your vision are manifestations of God.

21. Put some stamps in your passport, girl. Home will be here when you get back.

22. Savor delicious food and delicious men. Bon appetite!

23. Keep throwing impromptu dance parties in your room. Invite Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift. Don’t judge yourself. They are fun.

24. Love everyone openly. Keep your heart in your hands. Offer it to strangers. It’s fine right where it is.

25. Don’t be afraid to change your mind. It’s called growth. Be proud of it.

26. Find the mirror in your heart and gaze at yourself often. All other reflective surfaces are bullshit. (see rule 2)

27. Live your spirituality aloud. The more you live and speak it, the clearer and easier it gets.

28. Never peak, never stop, and never settle. Be a butterfly–Transform.

1 more for good luck:

Have the best year of your life. Every year. For the rest of your life.
[And when that doesn’t work, use your imagination to create something better. ]

Keep Calm…it’s almost my Berfday. 🙂