Enter in this course (Calling in “The One”)
The beauty of being in my position is that I won’t settle. I want the man from my dreams and no one else. He is the man for me. In a pleasant way, I was raised not to need a man. That anything I wanted and needed I should provide for myself and if I couldn’t then I should lean on my family for support. There were no lessons either direct or implied that suggested that my sisters or myself should depend on a boyfriend, husband, etc. to provide anything for us. To be in a relationship was an option, a choice, not the end goal. What developed within me was the desire and pursuit of a strong sense of independence. I became acutely aware that I had options and that I would choose my path. This freedom from societal influence and being the selector meant that I did not have to do anything that I did not want to do just to fulfill some unspoken rule that I had to be married by a certain age. My autonomy in the world of love (I’ll use autonomy loosely here because my mom still laid down the law when I was in my formative years) afforded me the time to learn who I was, who I wanted to be and what I wanted in a relationship.
And now I am here and ready.
The Approach, Setting Expectations and Preparations
Initially I was determined to do this course alone, EVEN THOUGH there were strong thoughts in the back of my mind reminding me of my love of community and partnership and the desire to strengthen that part of my life. I do pride myself of being independent and strong. Some wisdom that I have gained along the way is that asking for help or partnering with someone does not diminish strength, but strengthens strength. It is still an active lesson that I am settling into my core constitution.
That being said, for obvious reasons I only thought of asking for a friend to join but actually did not. I asked myself, “Should I really approach a course about finding the one, alone?” “Why of course, it will be our relationship not the community’s” was my initial answer, clearly ignoring my deep desire. My response wasn’t sitting right with me especially after sending a close friend of mine, Marley, numerous texts and having discussions about the book and wanting to go through this process with her. My reticence to partner up with someone is something that I will work towards getting over because that is an attitude that I have carried with me for a while and it does not serve me. Anyway, Marley finally said she was going to order the book and the opportunity presented itself for us to go through this journey together. I am humbled and grateful.
My expectations of the book are nil.
My expectations of myself on going through this course are many.
I expect to be open, honest, earnest, and willing.
I expect to show myself a lot of love during this course. I’m sure I will have to examine beliefs, shift thoughts and face some fears throughout this process, but as long as I am compassionate with myself I will go on this route supported.
I expect to do the practices and activities outlined in the book.
As Marley and I journey on this passage together, I expect to give support when needed, to hold the space for our exploration and to ask for the same when I need it as well.
I expect to be fair and refrain from judgment.
I expect to give it my all because I deserve it and so does Marley.
One of the agreements that we have made in addition to what is recommended in the book is to not consume any stimulants (alcohol, etc.) while on this path. There are only two planned exceptions, caffeine is allowed – whew!- and I celebrate the love of some friends of mine at their wedding in Paris and so I will toast to love. We want to embrace this chapter of our lives with a clear mind and spirit.
I truly cannot wait to start this course and call in “The One”. I am most excited about gaining completion of the past and clarity for the future, as well as meeting my “One”.
My commitment to myself through this period is that I will be an active player in creating the life that I want to live. I invite you to do the same