The Truth About Heartache

by P. Braithwaite

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I have something important to say…

Over the last two weeks, I’ve had the privilege of seeing two of my handsome and charming high school exes. One was an “official ex,” my boyfriend of five years whom I dated until I graduated from college. The other was an “unofficial ex” whom I carried a torch for during my first two years of high school.

Both, in their own way, broke my heart. And I’m sure, in my own way, I broke theirs. And yet, years later, we are at dinner. We are laughing with each other and reminiscing about old times. We are connecting like two people with no heartache between us.

Because, with time, the heartache perishes, and what’s left is loving-kindness. Love is the only constant.

“You know,” Official Ex says to me as we sit on a Prospect Park bench, “you are a good person. For all your flaws, at the core you are good.”

“So are you,” I reply.

I meant it.

Time doesn’t erase the perception of flaws, and it doesn’t negate perceived injustice, but time mitigates the pain. And without pain, you have accurate perspective. Please know that no pain, no grief, no agony lasts forever. After a while, even grudges you’re holding dissolve in your closed hand. The past gets further away; time only extends the gulf…and you continue to get better every day. There’s an ‘other side’ to your heartache, and it’s more beautiful than you can even imagine.

So today, allow my words to be a testimony and a salve, whatever you’re going through, it will get easier.

And so it is.

What are you in the process of getting over?

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