What does it mean to be healed? (#31writenow, #nablopomo)

by P. Braithwaite

Sometimes, when I’m having a bad day (or week or month), I reread my own blog posts.

I’ve never mentioned this to you because that shit sounds super narcissistic.

But it’s true.

I don’t do it because I’m into the sound of my own prose (although sometimes I do feel myself a but), I do it because when I’m having a bad day and I read something positive it makes me feel better. The whole truth is that the person who writes these blog posts isn’t always running the show. I get angry, I throw tantrums, I get stuck in negative ruts. I hate life, I question myself, I think the world is against me. I act stupid….the list goes on and on.

And then, when my friends are tired of hearing me gripe, I sit down by myself and I read a 500 word piece from a girl who thinks forgiveness is the path to true freedom. I read a post about gratitude or patience or shame and suddenly I gain some perspective. I read a blog that says “Today I am learning…” and, I remember that day that I was learning to be better and…without judgment, I try to remember the lesson I was trying to learn that day.

Healing is not a destination.

Healing is a choice we make every single moment of every day.

In coaching class, I learned that the brain does not replace old neurological pathways. When we learn a new behavior or way of being, our brain creates a new pathway, BUT the old pathway still exists. When we are triggered/stimulated, our brains must make a choice: do we choose our old way of being, or our new way?

Healing is not a destination.

Healing doesn’t erase the broken and effed up bits. To be healed is to harness the power to make a different choice.

Emotional healing is not a magical place where you’ve lost the weight, and your parents no longer piss you off. It’s not a secret island where you’ve transcended and you’re no longer afraid of your own shadow. It’s not a place where you are perpetually happy, perpetually well-adjusted or perpetually anything else. That 14 year old version of yourself who loves to run and hide still exists, even when you’ve “healed.”

Healing doesn’t erase the things that ail us.

So here’s my informal definition:

To heal to face difficult stimuli with enough self-awareness to make the most beneficial choice for all involved. To be healed is to lean toward the direction of emotional, mental, and physical health with the understanding that adversity and challenges may be involved in this course of action.

Healing is not for the faint of heart. It is for the brave lioness, the slow and purposeful warrior.

To heal is not to be free of challenge, but to embrace challenge as a part of emotional and mental health.

What does it mean to you to be healed?

Psst…I’m away from technology until September 8th, so if you comment I won’t get back to your right away. Sending you love from my retreat. Xoxoxo

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