Learning to Swallow Fire (#31writenow, #nablopomo)

by P. Braithwaite

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As of today, I’ve blogged for 22 days straight.

For some unknown reason, I committed to blogging every day of August for Luvvie’s 31 day blogging challenge called #31writenow. And it’s also National Blog Posting Month. I didn’t realize how hard this would be.

I’m trying to write real posts.
No shortcuts.
No quotes.
As few quickies as possible.
Honest sh*t…every day.
By me.

In typical fashion, the Universe has used this opportunity to teach me some painful valuable life lessons lessons. I’m talking deep tears and upset stomach lessons. My blogs have made my mom upset. My posts resulted in a few hate emails. On the flip side, my blog has lead me to connect with new blog friends. And, early on in the challenge, the author of my favorite book tweeted that my blog was “wonderful.”

Moments of high praise and high blame.

And so, many nights of this challenge, I’ve gone to bed deeply questioning my motives — why do I write? What do I want to say? Who do I want to be? Do I need to change? Is what I do valuable? How does this compulsion ‘fit’ into my life? Am I hurting the people I love? What am I trying to accomplish?

Some of those questions are hard to answer.

And yet, because I’m committed, every day I published a new post (usually scheduled before bed). No matter what push back or challenge I’ve faced…I continue to live and speak my truth.

The challenge isn’t over but I’m proud…

More than that, I’m learning to be proud of small victories — writing when it’s hard, standing behind AND for myself, understanding the power and impact of my words, and forgiving myself when my words unintentionally hurt.

I’m learning to feel fear and…do it anyway.

I’m also learning to tango atop the line between what I share and what don’t. It’s a clumsy dance that I’m not really good at, but I will be…I’m sure of it.

These aren’t lessons specifically about blogging; these are milestones on the journey to owning and wielding personal power.

So today, I encourage you to be proud of your journey. Know that, no matter what mountain there is for you to climb, you are strong and powerful enough to scale it.

You are powerful. Every single moment provides a little bit more proof.

Celebrate small victories. Be proud of the steps you’re taking. Swallow fire, choke on it and feel the burn inside your belly…

Eventually, when it’s time, you’ll release it.

And so it is.

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