On Being Emotionally Exhausted (& Staying Anyway) #31writenow #nablopomo

by P. Braithwaite

I wrote this post a while ago, but never published it. I wasn’t ready. It was too real. I pose a few questions that I’d really love answers to. If you have any thoughts to share based on your experiences, please share them below…

Here’s a confession that’s probably obvious by now: I’ve never had a successful romantic relationship. I say that, but maybe that’s unfair. How do we measure success? Lessons learned? Insights gained? How do we know when things aren’t working? When do we make the decision to give up?

Time of death — 9:15.

These are the questions I’m grappling with today. I wish more people discussed the hard times in relationships. I wish married people wrote and shared the moments when they wanted to give up but didn’t. Take a picture of that moment, publish it on instagram…tell the story and add a hashtag: I’mgladIstayed. I wish married/deeply committed people talked more about the moments where they teetered on the edge. Commitments aren’t commitments if they’re never tested. I can’t be the only one unhappy sometimes.

I guess I’m looking for a different perspective; a love letter from a stranger. Someone to share a spark I can apply to my own life. The unknown and the known are exhausting and scary. I want to give up. I need a sign…

Sometimes, when we fight too hard and too long, we forget. We forget what attracted us, we forget what we fell in love with. We forget that we’re better together. What was amnesty feels like hostile territory. We forget that there’s a better way to live and love each other. We forget that there’s a better way to love ourselves.

So today, I have no answers. Only questions, how do you know, for sure, when it’s time to move forward? What keeps two people committed even when it’s hard? At what point does commitment become self-betrayal?

Share your thoughts, I’d really like to know…

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