How to be More Patient #31writenow #nablopomo

by P. Braithwaite


It’s no secret, I’m not very patient, but here’s a confession…

Sometimes I throw my hands up in the air and ask: When? When will I find a love that is lasting and real and not riddled with neurosis?

I’m a firm believer in the Universe working in perfect time, and so I begrudgedly acknowledge that there’s probably a reason I’m in between beaus. I acknowledge that my ego-driven readiness, might not match my soul’s gentle and purposeful unfolding. That said,I get lonely and sad. I get frustrated and lose faith. I feel I have so much to give someone who is worthy. I’d like to start building and giving.

The other day, in the throes of PMS, I found myself uncharacteristically morose about my situation (read: sobbing on my couch, watching The Lake House with ice cream dribbling from my chin). I was sad and talking to the universe out loud, a habit I’ve picked up from living alone, when I remembered B-FF, who now works for an organization I lovingly refer to as The Dharma Initiative.

These days she’s about that high-powered jet-set life, but a few months ago our conversations went something like this:

Me: Hey Boo!
Her: Hey, T.
Me: Whatcha doing?
Her: Do you know I’ve been unemployed for 251days and 14 hours 5 minutes and 58 seconds!!?? Why does God hate me?!?
Me: God doesn’t hate you! Come over and let’s go day drinking!
Her: I can’t. I’m busy plotting my revenge.
Me: Oh aiight! (Pause)
Me: Call me when you’re done!

See, all B-FF wanted was to be a bawse! She wanted a job where she could travel, where she could flex her creative muscle AND she could exercise her business acumen.

Every day of her unemployment she prayed (sometimes we prayed together) and cried (sometimes we cried together) and… she wanted to strangle herself (sometimes I’d try to talk her out of it). It took almost a full year…but she literally landed her dream job.

My point? On days where my impatience trumps my faith and my longing causes me to question my worth…I must hold on to the inner-knowing that maybe…just maybe…God is slow cooking something heavenly just for me. I, and all those like me, must stay in the truth: we are worthy and ready to receive for more.

Sometimes ‘more’ just takes a little extra time.

Today, I hold fast to my truth: I often bloom late but beautifully. I often arrive last, but I make the most of the time I have. I will learn to dance in the in-between time…knowing (and praying), that what God has for me…is on it’s way. And what God has for me…is worth the wait.

What are you waiting on? It’s coming…you know why? Cause you deserve it!