An Embarassing Story about Scarcity…

by P. Braithwaite

I truly believe, in the core of my being, that the universe provides for all of my needs. And so, I share an embarrassing story with you:

While actively creating the life of my dreams, I was transitioning out of adjunct teaching and looking for sustainable work (work that supplements income while giving me time to peruse my dreams). I essentially went from three jobs to one. I was nervous about my finances, but making changes to my schedule felt right. As I was mediating, attracting, and pursuing this goal, I ran into a friend that was on the same path. We were both looking for sustainable work, and appointments scheduled at the same organization. She’d just had her meeting when we met up.

“There’s a job there that sounds really great,” she shared. “Actually, [NAME REDACTED] said it was perfect for me.”

Immediately my ego went into overdrive. The meeting I was scheduled to have was about potential employment. We were both up for the same job. Only one of us could get it. This was horrible, and I was no longer having drinks with my good friend. In my mind, I was in some invisible swirl of anxiety, AND I was upset with myself for not living in my belief that the universe provides for US ALL.

And so, I do what I do when I have a feeling. I blurted it out awkwardly at an inappropriate time.

“I’m uncomfortable,” I said, and I followed that with a string of incoherent words like “I think we’re both looking for work there and we both want the job and I’m nervous because we both want this job.”

She looked at me and smiled. I don’t think she had any idea what I was talking about.

And so, for the next few days, I berated myself for having these feelings, and betrated myself for sharing these feelings, and swirled around in a pit of self-loathing until my meeting. And when I had the meeting here’s what happened: I found out that the job my friend got was perfect for her. She has skills and experience that I don’t have, and an attempt to do that job would’ve been horrible.

What’s more is that there were other possible opportunities for which I would be better suited. Project-based opportunities involving writing and creating and possibly working from home. I’d concocted a climate of scarcity where one did not exist.

Scarcity is a funny thing (and by funny I mean annoying). There’s a very large universe out there with enough resources for all of us, but sometimes we get so fixated on lack. From our small corner of the world where rent is due and student loans are looming, it’s hard to imagine that the universe will bring us what we need, but I’m certain that if we breathe into the discomfort an answer will arrive – in the form of a gift, an idea, or an opportunity we’ve never thought of. The universe always provides. It’s easy to get attached to an idea, and to confuse one pathway as the only source, but the truth is that GOD/Universe is our supply. The jobs, people and opportunities that life puts in our path, are not the source they’re just the avenue for which God can rolls gifts down to us.

So those of you that are struggling, or jealous, or anxious about your needs, close your eyes and push your soul out in the direction of your source. Don’t think about the specifics, don’t worry about the form – just reach forward and know that what is yours in this lifetime, is for you.

What miracle awaits you today?

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