Sobriety, Serenity and Letting Go

by P. Braithwaite

One of my greatest soul teachers masquerades as my good friend. She is in recovery, and we became pretty close when I was coming to terms with an ex-boyfriend’s addiction. Her wisdom, deep deep wisdom, allowed me to see addiction as an illness, and the addict as a human. I think she saved me from a lifetime of bitterness.

She was instrumental in the healing and fortification of my heart. I will always be profoundly grateful for her support.

Anyway, we were recently having lunch in Brooklyn, when she was telling me about her latest journey in AA.

“I had to get rid of my sponsor, ” she said. “I feel bad…”

“Really? I didn’t know you could get rid of your sponsor. That’s tough…”

“Well, she’s very nice, but I wannna become a sponsor and she’s not gonna be able to take me where I need to go. She helped me to this point, but I need more…”

Something about that resonated with me, so I said what I always say when someone’s strength inspires me.

“Damn,” I said. “That’s really deep.”

It is hard know the exact moment when someone has taken you as far as they can. Like a hitchhiker with a destination, sometimes you’ve got to gauge when it’s times
to make a switch. We tend to hold on tightly, slow our progress and even deviate from our course in an effort to keep from changing. It’s scary to tell someone that we’ve outgrown them, or that, even with the best intentions, they are impeding our further growth.

It takes a brave soul to separate from what was, to make room for who they are becoming. Sometimes our potential scares us into staying small, but to love yourself enough to separate from what is unhealthy…that is some
deep deep stuff.

Today, I find myself replaying that conversation with my friend and thinking about my own life — how am I growing? How does my support system help or hinder my progress? Is it time to let old relationships go?

I don’t know.

So instead of taking action, I pray. I pray for serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can…and the wisdom, the divine whispers of wisdom, to know and act on the difference.

And so it is.

Are you ready and willing to let go of folks who know longer serve you?