Giving Thanks ;)

by P. Braithwaite

During thanksgiving dinner last year, my family and went around the dinner table and share one thing we were thankful for. I was sad — my boyfriend at the time wasn’t able to sit at my table — and I felt alone.

When it was my turn to share my gratitude I said:

I am thankful for everything I have and everything I don’t.

At the time, I don’t think I realized how true that statement was. I was trying to fight the feelings of lack that existed inside of me, but clearly I couldn’t see anything else. I was trying to look on the bright side without actually acknowledging my blessings.

This Thanksgiving, I finally feel the truth of that sentiment: I am thankful for everything I have, and everything I don’t.

Often, we believe we are ready for blessings that haven’t arrived yet. We find ourselves looking forward to what will come, or impatient about what is missing. We don’t often realize the blessings that exist in the absence of what we think we want.

Shortly after that thanksgiving dinner, my boyfriend came to stay with me for two months — two of the most stressful, claustrophobic months of my life. If I’d know then, way I’d known now, I would’ve savored the empty dining room chair, and the intimate thanksgiving without people I could truly trust and rely on. As my mother says, hindsight is 20/20.

As I am working toward my dreams and manifesting my deepest desires, I am deeply deeply grateful for the moments in between — the time to cherish what I do have, and the time to feel excited and enthusiastic about what’s to come. I can also, authentically say that I am deeply and profoundly grateful for the moments where I fallen short, gotten it wrong or felt disappointed. I am grateful for the ability to both receive and release people and experiences that weren’t right for me. I am grateful for all of this life….every drop.

Why? Because all moments lead to this person, this breath, this smile in my heart on this beautiful beautiful day. And for that…I can be nothing else but thankful.

Happy thanksgiving, y’all.

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