Men + Myself + God

Month: October, 2012

Rough Waters

by BLOGGERemme

Week Two, the week of completion. This week’s work was rough for me. While Week One looked to level set, Week Two looked to check and reinforce my foundation. How? Well, in a theoretical sense, easily. Here are the steps. I have to be:

  • Prepared to lose something to gain something
  • Prepared to forgive and let go of the past
  • Able to discard toxic elements from my life
  • Able to let go of former commitments, even those that are forgotten

Easy…no?! What do I want to gain? The man of my dreams. To this end, what am I willing to lose, let go of, or give up for my desire? I think of myself as a woman with not many needs or desires; just simple ones that have a strong link to quality (thanks mom). Initially, as I was reading this lesson I was drawing a blank on what would give up and then Katherine Woodward-Thomas put forth an example that registered. A woman that regarded herself, similarly as I regard myself, as strong and independent realized that

“She had to allow herself to give up the emotional armor she’d grown so used to, becoming more vulnerable and undefended than ever before.”

If I want to be in a lifelong partnership, I have to give up my solo outlook on life as well as my ‘emotional armor.’ This is not to say that I will be the stereotype of a woman from yesteryear without her own identity or allowing myself to be too vulnerable, quite the opposite. For me it means taking that ah-ha moment from Week One’s lesson on making space and applying it to the majority of my life. I had a moment where I was hanging clothes in my closet and realized that I would be seeing men’s clothing in my closet soon. That my home, would become our home and be peppered with elements of us not just me. That my life would still be ‘my life’ but would also be ‘our lives’. To get the man of my dreams I have to incorporate the idea of him into my world. Letting go of the past for me has largely been about forgiveness of what others have done to me and about forgiving myself for what I have done to others. Through this journey I became able to articulate that I need to forgive myself of what I have ‘done’ to myself and move on! I need to forgive myself of the former self-doubt and self-criticism, the former thoughts that my ideas were blah or just okay, the former ideology of only planning versus allowing and putting into action many elements of my life. I am realizing how hard I am on myself and I really need to just love myself more and be kinder to myself. Letting go of the past is allowing me to step into my current mindset. How have you completed the past? What are you willing to let go of to gain what you want?

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Do You Have Hurricane Sandy Syndrome

by P. Braithwaite

There’s a hurricane happening outside my window. My little friend the pear tree is blowing frantically and power chords are shaking in a pretty aggressive way. I’ve never experienced a hurricane alone before, and — Actually, I don’t think it’s a hurricane yet? I think, right now, there’s a storm outside of my window. It’s not bad yet…

But I can’t look away.

There are other places in my life where I have, what we’ll call, Hurricane Sandy Syndrome. HSS is my addiction to being afraid. My addiction to staring out at the unpleasant picture in fear of what is next. Don’t get me wrong, hurricanes are serious business, and my heart goes out to those dealing with the wrath of Sandy. That said, my fear does nothing for those in real danger, and quite frankly, I’m safe for now. I have food and flashlights and water and good sense. I should be focusing on abundance not fear. I should be grateful for my electricity and Oreo cookies, because the picture I’m staring at, isn’t quite accurate…but the fear would make me think it is. But it’s not.

So, as I stare out the window in fear and awe, I have to ask myself where else am I looking out in fear? Am I seeing devastation in my relationships? Am I imagining catastrophe in my employment situation? In my own mental faculties?

While preparation is always smart, it is foolish to fixate on a crisis that hasn’t occurred yet? Why cower in fear when I have everything I need to survive.

I don’t know about you guys, but I think it’s time to close my blinds. Be safe all…be well.

The Relationship Pipeline

by P. Braithwaite

Lately, I’ve been thinking about intimate relationships. I tend to visualize all relationships as two people attached by an invisible pipeline.

The question is: what comes thru the pipeline?

Quick: think of the first person that comes to mind. Now, imagine there is a plastic pipe or tube attached between the two of you; it’s thick and clear so you can see into it. What’s being exchanged b/w the two of you? Which way do the contents flow? What do the contents look like? Are they murky? Are they light and wispy? Do the contents have a sweet smell or are they odorless?

What comes thru the relationship pipeline says a lot about the state of your union because all relationships feed us: they nurture attitudes and ideas that live dormant (and awake) inside of us. Whether your relationship is organic vegan goodness or 3 day old McDonalds, however, is the question.

I’ve got some rusty pipelines in my life. Some pipes that need to be unclogged and others that perhaps need to be disconnected, but today I am just striving to understand where and how a relationship feeds me.

How are your relationships serving you?