GOD’s Memoir Drops in November

by P. Braithwaite

Yes! God wrote a memoir. This is great news for me because, when speaking with an agent, she smiled (I think she smiled. It was over the phone), and encouraged me by saying the following. “The good news is your book totally lends itself to memoir. The bad news is the genre is over-saturated.”

Granted, this is probably true, but if God wrote a 400 pager memoir, then at the very least, I’m in great company!

You don’t believe me? Okay, fine, maybe it’s not God.

It’s actually, David Javerbaum, a writer for the always brilliant Daily Show with John Stewart. While this might be a deal breaker for some, I’m actually more intrigued. Honestly, the books written by Daily Show staff members have been funnier than, say, the Bible. The book doesn’t come out until November 2011, but here’s a synopsis from the Simon & Schuster website:

Over the course of his long and distinguished career, god has literally seen it all. And not just seen. In fact, the multi-talented deity has played a pivotal role in many major events, including the Creation of the universe, the entirety of world history, the life of every human being who has ever lived, and the successful transitioning of American Idol into the post–Simon Cowell era.

Now, as the earth he has godded so magnificently draws to a Mayan-induced close, God breaks his 1,400-year literary silence with his final masterpiece, The Last Testament…He takes us behind the scenes of Genesis, setting the record (un)straight on the real first couple, Adam and Steve, and challenging long-held notions about the viability of containing a phylogenetically complete double bestiary within a 450,000-cubic-cubit watercraft. For the first time, he breaks his silence on Jesus Christ, shedding light on a father-son relationship as heartwarming as Will and Jaden Smith’s. And he reveals his true feelings about his third great faith, Islam, WHICH ARE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE AND RESPECTFUL.

But The Last Testament doesn’t just look back. It also offers God’s perspectives on the perennial quagmires of
love, marriage, and smiting. And he takes an unfiltered look at contemporary society, addressing such hot-button topics as:

  • Why he loves America
  • What he listens for in a good prayer
  • Which sports teams he really roots for
  • Which celebrities are totally gay

I haven’t been this excited since Lynne Spears wrote a tell-all about daughter Britney and called it a memoir!