Men + Myself + God

Category: LIFE

Field-notes from Hiatus

by Patia Braithwaite

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(I dedicate this blog post to my FIRST EVER blogging class students, who have inspired and challenged me to show up in class, in life…and on this blog.)

There are a million reasons I haven’t been blogging: laziness, busyness, preoccupation with binge-watching Downton Abbey. The idea that once you fall out of a routine, the hardest thing is getting back. Or the fleeting thought that I can’t write a blog and a book at the same time (I can). Writer’s block? Blogger’s blog? BeyoncĂ©?

The truth is… Read the rest of this entry »

On Standby

by Patia Braithwaite

ON NOWI will never forget the feeling I had when The Besticle came back the second time (only to disappear months later). I was so primed. I was so ripe and ready to be loved. I had done months of soul-searching and my heart was ready to explode. He called. I answered.

He was forgiven before he even asked.

The night we reconciled, I was a goner. The truth is, I felt love in the tips of my big toes. I’d felt love in my head before and I’d felt the warmth of my heart, but there was a tingling in my big toe that felt like glitter. It was warm and shinny. Intoxicating and exciting. I felt like I discovered my own magic.

I floated into my apartment that night, and stretched myself across the bed; then I called my three best friends.

“I feel love in my toes,” I babbled incoherently. “I’m going to go all into this. And so I need you all to hold the fear. I need you all to be on standby if this goes horribly wrong.”

My friends were gracious. They held my caution (and their tongues). They’d seen me through the first breakup, and they were happy I was happy. They knew, however, this would probably go wrong.

And, of course, it did. It went horribly horribly wrong…

Read the rest of this entry »

On Community

by Patia Braithwaite

Those of you who know me, know that I crave community. I join classes and clubs, I turn strangers into friends, but I’m always left somehow unfulfilled.

Well, I’ve realized something about my never-ending quest for community: it’s bullshit.

I’m learning that groups of like-minded people freak me out (and bore me). I like nuance. I respect dissent. I both fear and crave to be challenged. I resent anything that feels exclusive or divisive.

I’m not the biggest fan of intellectual cohesion.

I learn over and over that ‘community’ is not this homogenous group of people who have the same exact beliefs (that might be a cult). Communities aren’t groups of souls who need to be saved, fixed or tweaked. Communities aren’t based on sameness or even differences because…everyone is different in exactly the same ways.

Community is wherever your feet have landed. Community are those who breathe the the exact same air as you (HINT: everyone). In this space, in this moment you are communing.

In this space, in this moment, community is all there is…

…Proceed however you see fit.

What does community mean to you?

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