On Sunday evening, 17 real-life people ACTUALLY called-in to hear me discuss the spiritual lessons behind 50 Shades of Grey. Can you believe that!?!?? 17 good people (16 if you exclude my mom) took time out of their lives to actually listen to my voice (or in hopes that I’d read a really smutty passage from the book. LOL). This is mind-blowing for a kid who grew up with a stutter – for a kid who used to cry when people sang happy birthday to her — for a kid who is writing and creating a business based on emotions, spit, and prayer. I’m still in shock that I actually did it, and I’m in shock that folks showed up.
I think I’m officially outside of my comfort zone. I’m also in the space of deep gratitude.
I don’t have a long post today, but I do want to say this: Go do the thing that scares the shit out of you. Try stuff! Cry before you do it and cry again afterwards (that’s what I do), but do it. Do it, I promise it’ll be okay! By expressing what’s in your heart you give others license to do the same.
It’s true. We’re all in this together.
Here’s a recording of the call if you want to listen (I come in around the :30 second mark).
I’ll tell you guys a secret about this particular Sunday sermon. I’d turned off all the conference call chimes and stuff, so when I got on the call it said “There are zero participants on this phone call.” My heart sank and I got so scared, I hung up thinking maybe I’d dialed the wrong number (I’m a loser). I took a deep breath figuring that, at the very least, my mother would love me enough to tune in (hi mom), but when I called back in I got the same message.
There are zero participants on this call.
In that moment, without knowing if people were on the call or not, I began to speak. I’d prepared a sermon about Christian f*cking Grey, and I was going to do it, even if there was no one on the other end. I went through the entire call without any clear idea that people had signed in, and throughout the call I kept thinking, “I’m probably performing this for no one. This sucks.”
I kept my voice strong, and after a few minutes I began to embrace the idea that there was no one on the line but me. I think it might have made me a bit more comfortable.
But when I got off the call, I saw texts from some friends that had been on the line, and then I saw the call summary telling me that 17 people had called-in. And then, in spurts, emails and feedback messages came into my inbox… and I learned what I continue to learn every single day:
You are never ever really alone. Even when you can’t see (or hear) it, you’re supported.
So, today, I urge you – if you are sitting on the sidelines afraid to step into the game take a deep breath and get in there. You’re not as alone as you think you are. Sure, it might feel awkward and feel a little lonely, but in the end, you’ll find that the Universe has your back.
If you want to check out my Sunday sermon: click here. The next one happens on Sunday December 8th. Details are on the way!!