Archive for October 2011

Interesting Post from GetReligion.org

I’m interrupting my usual musings to bring you an interesting post on religion within the Occupy Wall Street movement. As a native New Yorker, I’ve got a few friends who are active in the movement, but, beyond the rhetoric and reality that I am part of the 99%, I’m interested in two things:

•the role of minorities within the movement
•the place of religion in the movement

GetReligion.org has a great post on the latter. Check it out here

Interesting Post from GetReligion.org

I’m interrupting my usual musings to bring you an interesting post on religion within the Occupy Wall Street movement. As a native New Yorker, I’ve got a few friends who are active in the movement, but, beyond the rhetoric and reality that I am part of the 99%, I’m interested in two things:

•the role of minorities within the movement
•the place of religion in the movement

GetReligion.org has a great post on the latter. Check it out here

Bad Apples: Adam, Eve, He-God, & the Blame Game

The best part about starting this blog is that it forces me to talk about my project. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s really hard for me to speak intelligently (and/or confidently) about the work I’m doing.

That said, I’ve had all sorts of interesting conversations with men about God. Granted people tend to misinterpret my topic or impose their own views on it, but nonetheless, I’ve been able to chit chat with some interesting folks.

At one of my many jobs, I spend time with a brilliant history professor who has an interest in the bible. He has had frantic discussions with me where he talks about the inability of the English language to capture the true intention of the bible. I find his point (and his enthusiasm) intoxicating, and I often go home thinking about what he has said.

His most recent assertion is this: men trying to be close to God actually find themselves further way from women.

He proves his points with references to Moses and Orthodox Jewish men, and even when I’ve tried to tell him that I am writing a narrative non-fiction piece focused primarily on modern men of all denominations, he still persists.

“Go look at the creation story,” he says. “When Eve eats the apple, what does God do?”

“He accuses her,” I reply.

“Right and she blames the serpent.” He nods. “And who does Adam blame?”

“Eve,” I shoot back, matter-of-factly.

“Not quite,” the history professor proclaims. “He blames God.”

“Go home and check your bible,” he adds. “it’s all there.”

I went home to check my bible and sure enough, Adam says “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

So this phrase “you put here with me,” is interesting. In this small phrase it seems that Adam blames god for faulty manufacturing. It seems to shout, “You sent me bad merchandise.” Although we all know the
bible can be interpreted 86,000 ways, I can se the History Professor’s point. So, what does this have to do with men, god and relationships?

Well, for me, there is something ballsy about Adam standing up to God. This says all of the usual stuff about women being the root of all evil, but it also says something about the relationship b/w Adam and God. If Adam can say “the woman you sent me effed shit up” doesn’t it seem like he isn’t afraid of God?
It would seem that Adam and God were equals. Where is the fear and trembling?

I’ve always maintained that there is something really significant about the fact that we all accept God is a
“he.” and I think this attitude of sameness is something that has to carry over in male female relationships. Eve didn’t try that shit. She blamed the serpant.

I’m not sure how, but I’m definitely working on trying to find out how this “he-God” thing manifests in relationships. And, of course, I’ll keep posting my interesting conversations with the professor.

Book Doctor’s 10 Tips 4 Memoir Writers

Still in the throes of this weird writer’s blocky thing, I came across this Huffington Post article by David Henry Sterry and Arielle Eckstut. If you’ve read my previous posts, you know I really love their work. Here are some tips they’ve included in the article:

10 Tips for Memoir Writers

1) Do absolutely fascinating, and/or horrendously horrible, and/or utterly unusual things; or have absolutely fascinating, and/or horrendously horrible, and/or utterly unusual things happen to you. The memoir market is so glutted your story has to be unique, new and fresh.

2) Don’t die. Staying alive is one of the most important things a memoir writer can do.

3) Don’t lie. You can change names. You can change physical characteristics of people if it doesn’t alter the story. But you can’t make stuff up.

4) A memoir is a book of memories. It is not an autobiography, which is more about getting all the facts right. Not that you don’t have an obligation to get the facts right. You do. You must (see James Frey). But memoir is about memory, which by its very nature is subjective and unreliable. When writing a memoir, try to invoke as many senses as possible. David has found again and again, when he recalls the smell of a scene, lots of memories come flooding back. For better and for worse.

5) A random collection of true stories does not a memoir make. A memoir has a beginning, a middle, and an end. One of the most difficult challenges of writing a memoir is constructing a narrative out of the seemingly random events we call life. Make a list of the most meaningful moments of your life in chronological order. It’s very revealing and slightly horrifying. But it’s a good place to start.

6) Write the whole manuscript. Gone are the days when a memoir can sell on a couple of excellent chapters. As illustrated by Sam’s story.

7) Don’t give up. Never give up. But always keep evolving. Making the book better, looking for people who can help you, researching, networking, writing, persevering.

8) Have a great support team of readers who will tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. In a kind and gentle way.

9) Don’t worry about getting sued yet. Just write your story. Your publisher will vet the book before they put it out. Unless you are self-publishing. Then find a lawyer who specializes in this stuff. If you don’t know one, contact us; we do.

10) Be kind to others and hard on yourself. No one likes a pity-party whiner. Or a writer grinding their ax into someone else’s back.

This is an excerpt. Read the entire article here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/david-henry-sterry/how-to-get-your-memoir-pu_b_1023331.html

All Stories Are Bullshit (a love letter)

I don’t believe in stories. I know, I know, that’s a strange thing for a writer to say, but it’s not a wholly radical thought. Grace Paley said any story told more than twice is fiction.

Stories are false. First of all they are contrived, but even writing a “true” story is much like looking out the window: there are constraints, artificial limits to your view. There’s a false sense of boundary — a beginning, middle and end. There’s a sense of completion that doesn’t ring true. Pure stories don’t stop, not even for the dead.

This idea, the limitation of story, isn’t new for me. Over the summer, I became obsessed with footnoting fiction– every line had a footnote that led to another story, but as I’ve attempted to write this memoir, it has become glaringly apparent that stories are slippery little buggers. Why?

Because I am imposing false elements, not on fiction, on a life. Did my story truly begin the moment I broke up with the Christian? Does it end when I find my soulmate?

Where my story ended, several others continued. For some, my climax was a new beginning. Can you see how this all gets confusing?

No memoir is an island…supporting characters aren’t as obedient as the ones that I create in my fiction. So what do you do when these thoughts clog your mind? You write 500 prefaces, you read to keep from writing, and you live everyday like a character in a novel…

Hopefully, this writer’s block passes and everything falls into place.

Quickie: A Question For Writers

I think it’s hard to love a writer. Not because we’re insufferable, isolated moody folks, but because writing is everything.

I’m writing this memoir and I find myself stretched to the edge of my sanity — who am I? What story am I telling? Am I doing my best? In the midst of writer’s block, I don’t know.

What I am learning, however, is that I will perish in service to the writing. I will sacrifice anything for it. I imagine that makes me very hard to love.

Would you ever let your lover come b/w you and your work?

Quickie: In GOD We Trust?

As election year approaches and people continue to forget that Romney believes in Jesus Christ, a new survey from the Pew Forum finds that, 61% of Americans say they’d be less likely to vote for someone who did not believe in God. In a country that, theoretically, separates church and state, do you find this odd?

Does Deepak Chopra Have Twitter Beef?

I have this professor that will bring up an obscure movie or book and then follow the reference with: Do we know this work? You simply must know this.  I’ve always found it annoying – perhaps it’s because I never know the obscure French New Wave film he’s mentioning. But today, before I launch into my usual shinanigans, I’m going to ask: Do we know what twitter beef is? I betcha my professor doesn’t know…The Oxford Urban Dictionary defines Twitter Beef as: the airing of grievances towards a person, place or thing using twitter as a platform.

Okay, now I can begin.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought Deepak Chopra was a pretty laid back guy. Chopra is a physician by training, but he has also become a pop culture philosopher (and friend of late-Michael Jackson). He has dedicated his life to the discussion of spirituality, science, and alternative medicine. He’s written over 65 books, and is considered an authority of alternative healing and spirituality. That said, he’s also criticized quite a bit. 

Anyway, he has a new book out called “The War of World Views.” It’s written with Leonard Mlodinow, a mathematical physicist at Cal Tech who’s worked with Stephen Hawking, and adresses issues regarding time, nature and the universe from opposing world views (science and spirituality).  I have not read the book yet, but I’m interested to see how the two work together to discuss some of lifes great mysteries. It sounds like a pretty open-minded thing to do eh?

Well, I don’t know what’s up with Deepak, but his tweets have been a little aggressive. I guess his emotionally-charged Huffington Post article where he completely trashes Richard Dawkins’ new book, coupled with the fact that when you write books with a scientist you’re going to attract a different readership, has Deepak a little pissed off.

On his twitter account he writes: “I’m a pseudoscientist, pseudospiritual, double pseudo, authentic, genuine fake. Vilify me and you do me a favor. I hate to be ignored.”

Damn, Deepak what’s that about? sarcasm? Spite?  Either way, I don’t get it. Can you go back to tweeting about conscious awareness again?

Grounding My Theory…in Theory

Great ideas are awesome, but they aren’t created in a vacuum. For those of you that are new, I’ve got this theory that how men view God dictates how they handle romantic relationships. While this idea has fueled me for a few years (I’ve done some interviews and I’ve been working on a book), It’s become obvious that I have to see what the great thinkers have said about GOD and religion.

I’m not sure if the academic stuff will actually make it into my book (I don’t plan to write a book where I have to say things like, “According to Freud”), but it’s good to know what others have pondered. Am I treading new territory or am I simply regurgitating a theory that someone else has explored?

What have I learned so far: I’m reading this book called 8 Theories of Religion by Daniel Pals. I’m not very far along, but so far I’ve learned that the objective scientific exploration of religion is not a new thing.

Now, I should pause to say – I’m not writing a scientific exploration of religion. I’m writing a memoir, which while honest isn’t exactly objective. However, my inquiries and any results/conclusions that I attempt to draw do come from a place free of religious bias. I’m not setting out to prove that all religious guys are great lovers.

So anyway, this idea of fair and objective religious research isn’t new. Around the late 1800’s Freidrich Muller, a German scholar and devout Christian, thought that one could pursue the serious study of religion. This meant that one could trace the origins of religion in a straight-forward and scientific way to get at the truth of the matter.   He was having these thoughts as Christianity was being challenged by Protestants and Deists, so he felt that if he could find the root cause of religion, through serious scientific inquiry, he’d be able to uncover the true majesty of his religion.

And here we are in 2011 having the same fights, wars, and heated conversations about religion and God.  I can’t wait to delve into the various theories. Apparently Freud compares religion to neurosis.

5 Reasons Sports Fans Go Straight To Heaven

Those of you who know me offline (and on Twitter), know that I’m a teeny bit of a football fan. This is a direct result of the years my father spent parked in front of the television on Sundays. We have a good relationship, but sports and politics have always been a surefire way to engage my father in conversation. For this reason, I’ve always understood football and had a passing respect for the game; however, my fanaticism is a recent occurrence.

A few years ago, a friend of mine wrote a great post entitled “Letter To My Girlfriend About Football.” It was sort of a pre-season apology that men could give to their significant others before football season in an effort to prepare them for the road ahead. Though there are some sexist implications (I’m sayin’ tho, can I give this to my boyfriend??), I thought the post was really cute and funny. After all, sports fans can be a little intense about their sports.

That said,there are gifts that sports fans contribute to relationships. Yes, they can be annoying. Yes, I’m aware that domestic violence stats rise during NFL season. Yes, sports fans neglect you and you may find yourself asking questions like: “Do you love me more than you love you love Mike Vick?” or “Do you have repressed sexual feelings for Jessica Simpon’s ex-boyfriend?”

Even so, sports fans have redeeming qualities that make them unlikely spiritual teachers AND great partners (in the
offseason). Here are a few:

(A note to lady sports fans: This applies to you too. I just used the male pronoun for the sake of continuity.)

1. Optimism
   At the start of the season he’s so full of optimism. He explains who they’ve traded and who looked great in the pre-season. Yes, he understands they went 0-16 last season, but every new season is a new beginning. The glass is half empty…until it’s not.
2. Loyalty
   He’ll defend his team in an argument even when the world knows they’re trash. He might even wear the jersey to an away game. (putting himself in danger). If that’s not a great trait, I don’t know what is.
3. Bravery
   See previous example of wearing the team jersey to an away game. (Yes, this can also be interpreted as stupidity.)
4. Faith
   Here’s a confession — sometimes I don’t go to church so that I can watch a football game. Granted, this might not go over well with God, but the act of sitting in front of an event that you can’t control and hoping against hope that your team will pull through, is almost like having a religious experience. You must step outside of yourself and put your faith in something that you cannot see.
5. Passion
   The ridiculous jersey, the ritual game food, the yelling, the cursing, the smell of stale beer — It’s not sexy in the moment, but all that heart, all of the energy spilling out of open mouths and clenched fists can be harnessed in the off-season, and directed toward you (unless they’re an all-around sports fan…then you might be screwed).

I know, I know, you overheard him yell out that the other team’s QB should die. Ignore that, I  swear, still waters run deep…